Self Sabotage: Flawed Relationships

Another way to sabotage yourself is to repeatedly have flawed relationships. Mind you, no relationship is perfect and all relationships have their problems, but some are seriously and terminally flawed.

Examples? Being in a relationship with someone who repeatedly cheats on you, beats you, is heavily into gambling, or is heavily into drugs or alcohol. These are just a few examples, but you can already see the problem. All of your time, energy and passion are wrapped up in dealing with their dysfunction.

If you consistently date cheaters, you spend all of your time and energy finding out with whom they are cheating, where they are cheating and when. You have nothing left to pursue your own goals and dreams.

If you repeatedly date partners who are abusive all of your energy is used up dealing with their abuse. Either you are breaking up with them because they hit you again, or you are caught up in their attempts to woo you back. Your life is spent rollercoastering back and forth in this tragic dance of violence. When you finally have enough and decide to get away from them, you then have the drama of the legal processes; charges being filed, protection orders being filed, restraining orders being filed - and all the time watching the abusers dramatic and passionate responses to these moves.

So why do people engage in these same flawed relationships over and over? I am working with another counselor, Genice Shine, to develop a series of articles regarding relationship patterns. You will be able to access this topic by clicking the "relationships" link in the Categories section on this page.